Mayor Batberg and Boy Blunder, his Fire Commissioner, said in tandem: "Firefighters, you shall inspect the reactor's core."
Chernobyl Firefighters: "Comrade Mayor and Comrade Commissioner, how shall this be done?"
Mayor Batberg to the Fire Commissioner: Boy Blunder, my favorite, Commissioner, do you have an answer for our fine fire fighters?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "They open the door and just go in."
Mayor Batberg: "There you have it, boys. You open the door and just go in.
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Tell them, Comrade Mayor, that it may be better if they held their breath when they go in.
Mayor Batberg: "Did you hear that boys? Safety first, hold your breath"
Chernobyl Firefighters: But Comrade Mayor and Comrade Commissioner, you do realize that the reactor's core is radioactive, yes?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Radioactive, Shmadioactive. you are firefighters, hold your breath and do your duty"
Mayor Batberg: "My Commissioner has said it, radioactive, shmadioactive, listen to him. Hold your breath and do your duty, boys.
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But comrade Mayor and comrade Commissioner, do you have a plan that we can follow telling us how to do the inspection?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Plan, Shman, who needs a plan? Hold your breath and do your duty, boys"
Mayor Batberg: "Plan, shman, who needs a plan. That's my fire commissioner. He knows what he's doing. Hold your breath and do your duty, boys.
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But Comrade Mayor and Comrade Commissioner, what about some training about how to inspect. We've never been in a radioactive core before?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Training, spraining, who needs training? Hold your breath and do your duty, boys."
Mayor Batberg: "Training, spraining. That's my fire commissioner. He is a true poet. Isn't he boys? He knows what he's doing. Hold your breath and do your duty, boys.
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But ..., how about a drill to practice an inspection?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Drill, drill, oh go and chew on a pill. Who needs a drill? Hold your breath and do your duty, boys"
Mayor Batberg: "Drill pill. That's my fire commissioner. He rhymes well. Doesn't he boys? He does know what he's doing, right? Hold your breath and everything will be all right, right?
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But Comrades, how about radiation suits?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Suits, suits, lick my boots. Who needs a suit? Holding your breath is much better than radiation suits, boys"
Mayor Batberg: "Radiation Suits, Boy Blunder, that sounds reasonable to me. No? (The Mayor, now worried, says to himself: I hope this nattering nudnik is not leading me off the edge of a cliff. I'm out on a limb already. If he doesn't know what he's talking about, my career is down the tubes. But I've got no one else to advise me so where Boy Blunder goes, I will follow.) Boys, suits boots who needs suits? Hold your breath. You'll be fine.
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But Comrades, will we be decontaminated when we're finished, yes?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "Decontaminated? What rhymes with decontaminated?"
Mayor Batberg: "Boy Blunder, I think you're loosing your train of thought? Stay focused, Boy Blunder, stay focused. You rhyme extremely well, Boy Blunder."
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But Comrades, will you monitor our health after we get out?
Boy Blunder, the Chernobyl Fire Commissioner: "You mean if you get out. Health, that's an easy one. Health, smealth, who cares about your health? Hold your breath and don't be insolent"
Mayor Batberg: "Now Boy Blunder, we shouldn't be saying that out loud. We can think that. But we shouldn't say that out loud. Keep in mind I want to replace Putin when he leaves office."
Chernobyl Firefighters: "But Comrades, under these conditions, you would accompany us on the inspections, yes?"
Mayor Batberg and Fire Commissioner Boy Blunder in chorus: "What? Who do you think we are? Firefighters?"
For more on Batberg and Boy Blunder, click here.