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The misadventures of Batberg and Boy Blunder - Part I

"Ah, excuse me, Batberg." Boy Blunder said as he meekly tugged upon the hem of Batberg's cape.

"What is it Boy Blunder?" asked Batberg, his beady eyes staring at Boy Blunder through slits underneath the horns of his black mask.

"With regard to that Deutsche Bank thing, I put on one of my suits - I hadn't worn it in a while - and in its pocket I found an FDNY plan that would have gotten Ten Engine safely into and out of 130 Liberty Street."

"Tell me FDNY made this plan after the August 18, 2007 fire?" Batberg asked.

"Ahr, not exactly Batberg." 

"When did FDNY draw up the plan?" Batberg asked.

"Before the fire." Boy Blunder whispered.

"Speak up, Boy Blunder, I can't hear you. There are no ear holes in my mask?"

"Before the fire." Boy Blunder spoke louder.

"Surely, FDNY passed this plan down to the Ten House before the fire?"

"I'm sorry, Batberg, but FDNY didn't pass it down to the TEN HOUSE before the fire."

"What?" Batberg screamed as steam started billowing from his head.

"Holy Sh@!, Batberg. What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" snivelled the Boy Blunder crouching lower and lifting his hand in front of his face to ward off Batberg's wrath.

"We're going to round up the usual suspects, Boy Blunder, that's what we're going to do."

"You mean Elvis and LMNOP?" the Boy Blunder asked?

"No, you moron, it's Bovis and LMDC, and I don't mean them.  I have tea and crumpets with them every day at 4.  I'm not going to blame anyone in my tea and crumpet club.  I want the heads of some of your underlings, Boy Blunder, on a silver platter and I want them forthwith."

"Holy Herod Anitpas, Batberg, but FDNY never gave them the plan!"

"Do you think I care. You see these horns on my mask.  They're not there for nothing. They mean something.  Away with you, Boy Blunder, before I poke you with my pitchfork. Go and round up the usual suspects. We need to pass the buck and the buck will be passed to your firefighters.  I have met Harry Truman and I'm no Harry Truman. Besides, we don't allow firefighters where I come from.  Water and flame just don't mix. "

"You want scapegoats?" the Boy Blunder asked Batberg.

"That's right." Batberg replied. "I like the kind with the horns." 

THE END 

 In future episodes, will the Boy Blunder ever find the courage to stand up to Batberg on behalf of his firefighters?  What will Batberg do when he is told about Boy Blunder's other blunders?  Stay tuned for more of the not-so-heroic but disgustingly despicable misadventures of the diabolic duo, Batberg and his trusty sidekick, the Boy Blunder. Click here for a different perspective.

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For the actual plan that FDNY had but didn't use, Click Here 

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Caveat:  This is a work of political satire liberally employing hyperbole and other literary techniques. Any resemblance to persons or events is purely coincidental. The purpose of this is to speculate about and imagine what occurred behind the curtain for which no written evidence is obtainable. Satire makes it interesting to our readers. This is a work of fiction.

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Stay Tuned .... More to come  ... Including the secret FDNY plan (Click Here)

  • Part 1 - the map of the mine field - Click here
  • Part 1 - The Misadventures of Batberg & Boy Blunder - Click Here
  • Part 2 - the special vs. the local unit - Click here.
  • Part 3 - the failure to update the general plan -  Click here
  • Part 4 - the failure to supply the equipment - Click here
  • Part 5 - the failure to respond to the local unit's request for help - Click here
  • Listen to an "ex-General" defend Captain Peter Bosco, by clicking here.

 

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

--From Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)
 
 

 

Posted on Saturday, October 20, 2007 at 10:28AM by Registered Commenter[Your Name Here] | CommentsPost a Comment

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